Co-dependency does not necessarily have to mean that you are involved with an alcoholic or a drug abuser. If you consider yourself a "giver", if you are always putting other people's needs before your own, then you may have a co-dependent personality. Do you find it hard to tell people "No"? You you find it difficult to stand up for yourself, and do you hate confrontation? Well, you may be co-dependent!
If you are in a relationship that you know is not good for you, or if you are unhappy in, but just can't leave, then you are co-dependent!
If you are constantly making excuses for a friend or loved one's bad behavior, you are co-dependent! And, you are not helping the other person to grow, you are just helping them to stay stuck in their own problems.
Co-dependants never think that they are co-dependent! They see themselves as people who are loving and giving, gentle, easy-going and forgiving, no matter what. Shocking as it may be to you, the very personality traits that you think are your best may really be your biggest problems.
You have nothing to lose by attending a few Al-Anon meetings, and everything to gain. They are free, and they hare usually held on many different days of the week, at different times of the day, and at different locations. It is easy to find out where they are held where you live! All you have to do is to click on the following link, and then going to the listing for your state. The Al-Anon offices will be listed by city.
Regarding pain in relationships:
I have two lovely children and never has one of them
said, "I want to go over to see Tommy or Louise
because they are going to hit me in the head with a board".
Here are some links to articles and sites with more information. They will open in a new window:
Suite 101 tons of good stuff and links here!
Crescent Life a lot of information
Be brave enough to live creatively.
The creative is the place where no one else has ever been.
You have to leave the city of your comfort
and go into the wilderness of your intuition.
You can not get there by bus, only by hard work, risking
and by not quite knowing what you are doing.
What you will discover will be wonderful: yourself.
- Alan Alda